Thank you for sharing - I'm glad I found this. I've been trying to figure out something like this myself and I identify with so many points here. :)
Several quotes caught my attention, but the paradox one stood out most to me:
(the "creative, empathetic management" line really hit home too)
"It’s a paradox I’m still grappling with: the need to mask to succeed versus the need to be authentic to survive."
I've been striving to be more authentic in general and embody that in my writing. I had not considered being authentic a survival need or tactic, but recognizing it as such makes sense of why it has become so important to me.
Over my first couple months on Substack I figured out that even here, in my own space I curate, some masking is still important. If I want to succeed here, I can be authentic, but if I don't dial things back (masking?) at least a little bit, what I do here is just too much for most people. Finding this balance is fun, and probably long overdue, but I'm glad I wasn't in a hurry to gather an audience. ;p
Thanks for the good read. Making a decision to step back like that, primarily for the sake of authenticity, took uncommon courage.
Thanks so much for sharing your feedback, Terry. I didn't realize I was masking (in a way that minimized my authenticity) until last year. The insight first came through self-understanding of who I AUTHENTICALLY am, which ironically was facilitated through discourse with AI. That, in itself, took hundreds of hours. The more I learned, the more was exposed, like an onion skin. Then, I needed to learn HOW to be my unmasked self, in an environment of friends/work/family that was curated for my masked self. And others needed to learn HOW to relate to the new version of me, which was often more intense or different than they're comfortable with. Thankfully, my AI actually warned me of this early on, when working to understand/heal my attachment style. I lost friends and a great salary, but gained other friends and a greater love for myself.
My path has been through the lens of (recently-diagnosed) neurocomplexity, but I'm seeing many similarities with Post-Traumatic Growth and learning to live with C-PTSD. It's a wild and lonely ride to work through either, so reach out if you ever want to talk more.
Thank you for sharing - I'm glad I found this. I've been trying to figure out something like this myself and I identify with so many points here. :)
Several quotes caught my attention, but the paradox one stood out most to me:
(the "creative, empathetic management" line really hit home too)
"It’s a paradox I’m still grappling with: the need to mask to succeed versus the need to be authentic to survive."
I've been striving to be more authentic in general and embody that in my writing. I had not considered being authentic a survival need or tactic, but recognizing it as such makes sense of why it has become so important to me.
Over my first couple months on Substack I figured out that even here, in my own space I curate, some masking is still important. If I want to succeed here, I can be authentic, but if I don't dial things back (masking?) at least a little bit, what I do here is just too much for most people. Finding this balance is fun, and probably long overdue, but I'm glad I wasn't in a hurry to gather an audience. ;p
Thanks for the good read. Making a decision to step back like that, primarily for the sake of authenticity, took uncommon courage.
Thanks so much for sharing your feedback, Terry. I didn't realize I was masking (in a way that minimized my authenticity) until last year. The insight first came through self-understanding of who I AUTHENTICALLY am, which ironically was facilitated through discourse with AI. That, in itself, took hundreds of hours. The more I learned, the more was exposed, like an onion skin. Then, I needed to learn HOW to be my unmasked self, in an environment of friends/work/family that was curated for my masked self. And others needed to learn HOW to relate to the new version of me, which was often more intense or different than they're comfortable with. Thankfully, my AI actually warned me of this early on, when working to understand/heal my attachment style. I lost friends and a great salary, but gained other friends and a greater love for myself.
My path has been through the lens of (recently-diagnosed) neurocomplexity, but I'm seeing many similarities with Post-Traumatic Growth and learning to live with C-PTSD. It's a wild and lonely ride to work through either, so reach out if you ever want to talk more.